Children’s Self Protection Lesson Spotting Predators, PINs, Fence Strategy and Safe Get Ups
Children's Self-Protection
Children need more than stranger danger. Most risk does not arrive wearing a label. A good self-protection lesson teaches children to notice behaviour, protect space, use their voice, move early, and recover if they fall.
This lesson covered awareness, boundary setting, simple movement, and pressure-tested ideas from respected self-protection teachers and writers, including Gavin De Becker and Geoff Thompson.
The aim is not to frighten children. The aim is to give them clear tools.
Predatory warning signs matter because behaviour comes before contact
Predators often test boundaries before they break them. That is the key lesson.
A child should not be taught to judge danger by how someone looks. They should learn to judge behaviour. That is fairer, safer, and more useful.
Warning signs can include:
An adult asking a child to keep a secret from parents or carers
Someone trying to move a child away from other people
A person offering gifts, favours, lifts, or help that was not asked for
An adult asking a child for help with something an adult should ask another adult to do
Someone ignoring a clear “no”
Someone using guilt, pity, or pressure to get compliance
A person standing too close after being asked to step back
Using a child’s name to create false trust
These are not proof of a crime. They are signals to act early.
That action might be simple. Move closer to a safe adult. Refuse. Make noise. Leave. Tell someone. Get to a public place. The child does not need to debate the person or explain politely.
Personal security starts when children learn that discomfort is information. If something feels wrong, they do not need to wait until it becomes an emergency.
A useful rule for children is this:
If someone makes you feel trapped, rushed, guilty, secretive, or scared, get away and tell a trusted adult.
This protects against a common mistake. Many children are taught to be polite before they are taught to be safe. Good manners matter, but safety comes first.
Gavin De Becker’s seven pre-incident indicators are useful for children
Gavin De Becker is widely known for his work on predicting violence and recognising warning signs before an attack. His seven pre-incident indicators, often shortened to PINs, are useful because they focus on behaviour that can happen before harm.
For children, the language needs to be simple. The ideas still apply.
Forced teaming
Forced teaming happens when someone acts as if they and the child are on the same team.
Examples include:
“We need to get this done.”
“Let’s not tell anyone.”
“We’re in this together.”
The lesson for a child is direct. If someone tries to create an instant “we” feeling, pause. Safe adults do not need to rush secret teamwork with a child.
Charm and niceness
Charm can be real, but it can also be a tool. Children should know that a person being friendly does not mean the person is safe.
This matters because children are often rewarded for responding to friendly adults. The lesson is not “ignore everyone”. The lesson is “friendly behaviour does not cancel your boundaries”.
A child can say, “No thank you,” and move away.
Too many details
When someone gives too many details, they may be trying to sound more believable than needed.
For example:
“I know your mum. She told me to come because she was late because the car broke down near the shop and her phone died.”
Children do not need to solve the story. They need a rule.
If plans change, check with a known trusted adult. If that is not possible, go to a safer public adult, such as a teacher, shop worker, police officer, or another parent with children.
Typecasting
Typecasting means insulting or labelling someone to push them into proving the insult wrong.
For example:
“You’re not scared, are you?”
“I thought you were helpful.”
“Only rude children say no.”
This is emotional bait. Children need permission to leave the bait alone.
A strong answer is short.
“No.”
Then move.
Loan sharking
Loan sharking happens when someone gives a favour, then expects something back.
For example:
“I helped you carry that, now you can help me.”
“I bought you this, now you owe me.”
Children should know that gifts and help do not create debt. A safe adult does not demand repayment from a child.
Unsolicited promises
An unsolicited promise is when someone says, “I promise I won’t hurt you,” or “I promise I’ll bring you straight back,” when no promise was requested.
That can be a warning sign because the person knows the child may have a reason to worry.
The child’s rule is simple. Promises do not replace permission from a trusted adult.
Discounting the word no
This is one of the most important indicators for a child to understand.
If someone ignores “no”, the problem is not the child’s tone. The problem is the other person’s behaviour.
Children should practise saying no in different ways:
Quiet no
Firm no
Loud no
“Stop”
“Back off”
“I’m getting help”
The goal is not a perfect script. The goal is permission to refuse.
Lessons from youth self-protection and animal instincts
My book, When Parents Aren’t Around: A Young Person’s Guide to Self-Protection, is useful because it places the child in realistic moments. Parents, carers, and teachers cannot be everywhere. Children need age-appropriate decisions they can use when they are alone, with friends, walking home, online, at a club, or waiting to be collected.
A strong youth lesson covers four areas.
Awareness
Children learn to scan without acting paranoid. They notice exits, safe adults, busy areas, and people who are paying too much attention to them.
Boundaries
Children practise saying no, moving away, and telling an adult. They also learn that they do not need to keep unsafe secrets.
Escape
Children learn that leaving early is often the best result. Winning an argument with a risky person is not the goal.
Reporting
Children practise telling a trusted adult clearly. “They asked me to keep it secret,” or “They would not let me leave,” gives useful information.
The “Animal Instincts” course idea fits this well. Children understand animals quickly. Animals create space. They move away from danger. They make noise. They protect their young. They use posture to warn before contact.
This gives children simple images.
Cat Move fast and get to height or safety.
Dog Make noise when someone crosses a line.
Deer Notice movement early and leave before the chase.
Gorilla Make the body bigger and use strong posture.
These are not fighting fantasies. They are memory hooks. Children remember pictures better than lectures.
This is where self-defence, personal training, private lessons and personal security meet. The lesson must fit the child in front of the instructor. A confident child may need control and judgement. A shy child may need voice and boundary practice. A sporty child may need to slow down and think. A smaller child may need more escape and obstruction work.
Safe get ups teach recovery without panic
Children fall. They trip. They get pushed. They play on the floor. A self-protection class must include getting up safely because the ground changes everything.
The aim is not to teach children to wrestle. The aim is to help them recover without turning their back on danger, placing their hands where they can be trapped, or standing up too slowly.
A basic tactical get-up can be taught in stages.
Protect the head
The child covers the head and frames with the arms if needed.
Face the problem
The child keeps eyes on the person or direction of danger.
Create a barrier
One leg stays between the child and the danger. Hands help keep space.
Move back
The child shifts away before standing.
Stand with balance
The child gets up without crossing the feet or turning away.
Leave
Standing up is not the finish. Moving to safety is the finish.
Recovery methods should include different starts:
Sitting
On the back
On the side
On hands and knees
After a light push or stumble
The instructor can add realistic prompts. “Where is the exit?” “Where is the safe adult?” “What do you shout?” This stops the drill becoming gymnastics.
Children should also learn when not to stand straight up. If someone is too close, getting up into them can make things worse. The child may need to scoot back, use a bag as a barrier, or move around furniture first.
The core message is clear. Get up to get away.
The fence strategy gives children a safe shape for boundaries
Geoff Thompson’s fence strategy is a well-known self-protection method. It uses open hands between the body and the other person. The hands look non-threatening, but they protect space and prepare the person to move.
For children, the fence must be simple and age-appropriate.
A child can place their hands up at chest height with palms open. The hands should not be fists. The elbows stay soft. The feet stay balanced. The child’s words match the shape.
Examples include:
“Stop there.”
“I don’t know you.”
“Move back.”
“No.”
“I’m going to get help.”
The fence does several jobs at once.
It creates distance
The child has a physical marker for personal space.
It supports the voice
The body and words agree.
It buys time
The child has a moment to move, shout, or run.
It protects without looking like a fight
Open hands communicate refusal without making the child look aggressive.
In practice, this can be trained through role play. One person steps forward slowly. The child raises the fence and gives a clear command. The first success is not physical contact. The first success is stopping the approach early.
The instructor can then add options.
Fence and step back
Fence and angle away
Fence and move to a door
Fence and call for help
Fence and place an object between the child and the person
This is a better lesson than teaching a child to wait until someone grabs them. Early action is safer.
The aggressive fence creates space when the line has already been crossed
The aggressive fence is stronger. It is used when someone is too close, still coming forward, or ignoring a clear stop.
For a child, this must be taught carefully. It is not permission to shove people during normal disagreements. It is an emergency space-making tool.
The aggressive fence uses the same open-hand idea, but with more drive in the body and voice. The child steps or shifts and uses the hands to create a gap. The words are loud and plain.
“Back off.”
“Stop.”
“Leave me alone.”
Then the child moves.
The movement must link to escape. If the child pushes space open and stays there, they may get grabbed again. The order is:
Fence
Create space
Move
Shout
Reach safety
Report
This can be practised on pads or with a padded barrier. That keeps the lesson safe. It also helps children feel the difference between a weak hand position and a strong one.
The value is psychological as much as physical. Many children freeze when someone enters their space. The aggressive fence gives them a rehearsed action.
Clearing obstacles teaches children to use the environment
Most self-protection does not happen on an empty mat. It happens near bags, chairs, bikes, pavements, doors, benches, school gates, parked cars, sports kit, and other people.
Clearing obstacles means learning to move around, over, or away from things without getting stuck.
For children, this should be practical:
Move around a chair without turning your back
Put a school bag between you and the person
Step off a wall or kerb safely
Avoid backing into a corner
Move through a door and keep going
Use a table, bench, or bike as a barrier
Get up from the floor when a bag is in the way
A child who can sprint on a clear field may still freeze in a hallway. A child who knows a good get-up may struggle if their coat catches under them. That is why obstacle work matters.
It also teaches decision-making. The child learns that escape is rarely a straight line. They may need to angle away, go around an object, or move towards people rather than empty space.
A simple drill works well.
Set up three obstacles, such as a chair, a bag, and a cone. The child starts seated or standing. A coach or parent gives a prompt, such as “Too close,” or “Get help.” The child uses the fence, moves around the obstacle, gets to a marked safe point, and calls out what happened.
The drill should stay controlled. The purpose is clear movement, not fear.
A good children’s lesson joins the pieces together
The best lesson links awareness, voice, movement, and reporting.
A child sees warning signs. They use their voice. They create space with the fence. If they fall, they recover. If the route is blocked, they clear the obstacle. Then they get to help and tell the truth clearly.
That sequence is more useful than isolated techniques.
A sample lesson might look like this:
Part of lesson | Main aim |
Warning signs | Notice unsafe behaviour early |
Seven indicators | Spot pressure tactics before contact |
Boundary practice | Say no and move without apology |
Tactical get-ups | Recover from the floor and leave |
Fence work | Protect space with open hands |
Aggressive fence | Create space when someone presses in |
Obstacle clearing | Escape through real surroundings |
Reporting | Tell a trusted adult what happened |
Good training should also include calm discussion after the drills. Children need to know that if something happens, it is not their fault. Their job is to get safe and tell.
For structured support, see the dedicated page on children’s self-protection lessons.
FAQ
What age can a child start self-protection lessons?
Many children can start with simple awareness, voice, and boundary games from primary school age. Physical material should match the child’s maturity, coordination, and ability to follow safety rules.
Is this the same as martial arts?
No. Martial arts can help fitness, discipline, and confidence, but self-protection focuses on recognising risk, setting boundaries, escaping, and reporting. Physical skills are only one part of the lesson.
Will this make a child scared of adults?
It should not. Good teaching avoids fear-based messages. Children learn that most adults are safe, but unsafe behaviour must be recognised and reported.
Should children be taught to hit?
Striking is a serious subject and must be taught with care, context, and legal awareness. For many children, the first priorities are distance, voice, escape, and getting help.
Why teach get-ups and obstacle clearing?
Because real problems happen in messy places. Children may fall, trip, or get blocked by bags, chairs, kerbs, or doors. Safe recovery and movement help them leave faster.
The takeaway
Children do not need adult-level fight training. They need clear rules, rehearsed words, safe movement, and permission to act early.
Teach them to spot pressure. Teach them that “no” matters. Teach them to use open hands to protect space. Teach them to get up, move around obstacles, and find help.
That is practical self-protection. It is calm, direct, and built for real life.
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